My pet monkey is so entertaining, Hours of fun for the whole family.
Pet monkeys are illegal, but no-one knows we have one.
Don’t say anything.
She eats bananas and table scraps. Apparently the females are the ones to have, they are more docile and less likely to scratch your eyes out while you sleep.
So far we’ve had no trouble, although oddly the neighbour keeps complaining that someone, or something is attacking her cats on a regular basis. I blame the raccoons personally, although sometimes the monkey comes home in the morning reeking of urine and generally disheveled looking.
She blames it on alcohol binges, and I can only assume that she is telling the truth.
Monkeys are known to go off on binges, aren’t they?