Author: jds

01 Sep

Big Stupid Head

Big Stupid Head

Hey, Big Stupid Head, why are you doing that? I mean, who asked you? Go away Big Stupid Head, we don’t want your kind around here. Are you …

 
By jds
Filed under: mumbles
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31 Aug

Work ForYo urself

Work ForYo urself

Thanks, Mr. C.D. Jones for sending me this incredible offer. How could you have known that I have always wanted to ‘Work ForM Yself’? You …

 
By jds
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30 Aug

The Human Pretzel Lady

The Human Pretzel Lady

Um, Hi… that’s a pretty neat trick you have there… Could you please not do that anymore? It makes me feel like I am invading your privacy. I …

 
By jds
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27 Aug

Bitch, please!

Bitch, please!

Yes, that is your horn. There it is again, and you made it stay on longer that time. Impressive. I think you have mastered… Oh there it …

 
By jds
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26 Aug

Pigeon for dinner

Pigeon for dinner

It’s always an option, they are there for the taking. You are lounging around in the back yard when one comes swooping in, stupidly assuming the …

 
By jds
Filed under: funnies
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25 Aug

I *killed* another cyclist today

I *killed* another cyclist today

That brings the total to five. That makes me an Ace I think. Let me be the first to say that I am pro-bike, pro-bike lane, …

 
By jds
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24 Aug

The Trial.

The Trial.

The judge was livid. ‘You call yourself a contributing member’??!! he shouted. The defendant withered on the stand. ‘B-but I was trying my best’ he stammered. The judge …

 
By jds
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23 Aug

The detectives.

The detectives.

The detectives paid a visit today. If they were trying not to look like police detectives there was clearly a problem with their plan. One guy was …

 
By jds
Filed under: funnies
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20 Aug

my neighbour the crack dealer

my neighbour the crack dealer

The crack dealer was in the alley again. His eyes are always so bugged out, you’d think that they would just let go and fall out …

 
By jds
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19 Aug

The Market.

The Market.

I sat with my beef patty and Cola Champagne at the edge of the park. It was full of people and children, a cast of unlikely …

 
By jds
Filed under: mumbles
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